What The Zadge Plans to Do in Bed

The Zadge is seeing a lot of action in bed these days.

Flower beds, that is. 

My hard-working, tree-slaying, fence-fixing, yard-cleaning Martine also makes a great empty bed!

Here's the new rock-lined, side shade bed - formerly filled with rotting mulch chips, weeds, and rusted metal edging -- just waiting to be filled with Bleeding Hearts, Columbines, Hostas, and Hellebores:

I love the word "Hellebore."  Don't you know a few?

Here's The Zadge's favorite new bed (since Daniel Craig's bed isn't really new to her):


This will be the Flowers-Galore bed.  I imagine it chock-full of blues, purples, yellows and pinks - Russian sage, lavenders, penstemons, peonies, sunflowers, cat mint and other stuff that The Sista tells me to plant there because she is the expert and I just spend ridiculous amounts of money on flowers.

And you've met The Shone's Bed:


In addition to the lone blue frisbee, I plan on making this a mixed bed with shrubs, flowers, herbs, plus some tomato plants thrown in.  They go so well sliced with basil, fresh mozzarella and blue frisbee.

Guess what?! When Martine was toiling away last week in her yard, The Zadge got laid.....with new sod!  I can't get Harry off of the stuff!


And here's the final bed that Martine made for me:


Flowers will soon be planted in front of that row of bushes, which will cause a glitch in The Shone's morning grooming routine:  every morning, I let him out in the backyard and he immediately goes to that line of shrubs and just rubs himself up and down it for five straight minutes, throwing his head back in utter happiness.

Come to think of it, I don't think it will put a damper in The Shone's morning scratch - but it likely will put a damper on the newly planted flowers!

Bedtime!

Dog Bed

Doesn't The Shone look happy?

Do you know why?  Well, I guess one reason is because The Shone is the happiest dog on the planet all of the time!  But in this case, he is particularly smiley because he is chillaxin' in his NEW FLOWER BED with his OLD FRISBEE!

This is one of the new flowerbeds that Martin created in the backyard after he illegally bravely chopped down three trees that were there.

Do you see any flowers in the new flowerbed?  No, you do not.  The Zadge has tons of beautiful flowers picked out to plant in that bed, as well as the two other beds Martin made for her, except freakin' Mother Nature WILL NOT COOPERATE!  Yes, May starts this weekend and they (the proverbial "they") are calling for FREAKIN' SNOW!

The Zadge is not happy with Mother F**ker Nature.

The Shone, on the other hand, is.  Lack of flowers allows him to continue his endless and dramatic head-flinging digging of the dirt around his frisbee:


It's quite a cardio workout, especially for a dog who is 87 in people years, so he frequently has to take a break from the digging:


And then I catch a glimpse of his sweet, panting, smiling face and I think, maybe I should just make it a Shone Bed instead of a Flower Bed!

Fabric Frenzy

Meet the sexiest thing my bedroom has seen in a looong time:

My new little bench at the end of my bed.  Well, not exactly new, as I bought it 13 years ago at a D.C. flea market for a cool $10.  But I did give it a fresh facelift last night, with a snappy new bright blue and green silk taffeta top.

Now I bet you didn't take The Zadge for the crafty type, did you?

Oh, but The Zadge has many sides to her multiple personality disorder self.  See, The Zadge went to a discount designer fabric store this weekend and fell into a fabric frenzy.   Her crafty self went nuts and bought all these pretty fabrics.  And by "crafty self," I mean -- see fabrics, fall in love, buy up loads of them and then realize I can't even sew a loose button so what the hell am I going to do with all of this fabric -- crafty.

So I bought that snappy blue and green fabric, thinking it would be perfect for pillows on the living room couch.  And then decided to use the extra for that bench.

And I also bought ten yards of this $120/yard silk that was on sale for $20/yard.....

...because I thought it would look great as dramatic drapes on Old Vicky's dining room windows, falling in luxurious silk puddles on the floor:


To balance out the usual puddles of poo in the dining room.

Or how about this cutie-pie blue polka dot fabric, which I envisioned as a roman shade in the guest room:


Oh, I'm sorry, it's TULIP's room and her window!



And this was a three-yard remnant for $10, that I thought would look perfect in my office...


....as a roman shade for this window:


Plus this $12 remnant, which I just know will look fabulous as pillows on the couch in the kitchen:


Except that Crafty Zadge has no craftyness in her at all.  Unless you consider dropping hundreds of dollars at a discount fabric store batty "crafty."  So now, she has to hire some genuinely Crafty Person to make all her crafty visions come to life.  Which means spending many more crafty dollars.

Those Fabric Frenzies sure do get crafty costly.

Need Some Comfort?

Perhaps in reaction to The Cleanse, The Zadge was seeking some serious comfort food this weekend.

Oh, and did she find it!

In a big ole' plate of the best Chicken Pot Pie I've ever tasted...

and a fabulous glass of a blush-colored Point Concepcion Pinot Grigio:


I found the Chicken Pot Pie recipe in Country Living magazine and it was easy-peasy to make (Seriously? Did I just say "easy-peasy"?  Rachel Ray, get the hell out of my body!).  You just use a store-bought pie crust and rotisserie chicken.

I have to tell you - it was DELISH! (Goddamnit Ray, this is your last warning!)

MUCH better than pureed kale, spinach and celery juice!

INGREDIENTS:

* 2 tablespoon(s) unsalted butter
* 1 medium onion, chopped
* 4 medium carrots, sliced into 1/4-inch-thick coins
* 2 stalk(s) celery
* 2 clove(s) garlic, finely chopped
* 1/2 teaspoon(s) salt
* 1/2 teaspoon(s) freshly ground pepper
* 2 tablespoon(s) all-purpose flour
* 3 tablespoon(s) heavy cream
* 2 cup(s) chicken broth
* 4 cup(s) shredded cooked chicken
* 1 cup(s) frozen peas
* 1 1/2 tablespoon(s) chopped fresh dill
* 1 (9-inch) store-bought piecrust, such as Pillsbury
* 1 egg, beaten

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Heat butter in a 12-inch cast-iron skillet over medium heat. Add onion, carrots, celery, and garlic and cook until carrots begin to soften, about 6 minutes. Season with salt and pepper.

2. Reduce heat to medium-low and stir in flour. Cook for 1 minute. Stir in heavy cream and broth, using a whisk, until combined. Stir in chicken, peas, and dill and bring to a boil. Remove from heat.

3. Gently roll out store-bought pie crust until it reaches 12 inches in diameter. Place dough atop chicken mixture and brush with egg; cut vents in pastry. Transfer skillet to oven; bake until crust is browned and flaky, about 35 minutes.

Saturday Sayin's

Musings about Food

Food has been on The Zadge's mind lately. Since she hasn't eaten any since Monday night.

Well she plans to remedy that tonight by enjoying a gourmet meal with Babe the Builder at Olivea. In the meantime, I stumbled upon this clip of Jamie Oliver speaking at those 'Ted" things (am not really sure what Ted is all about or why it's called Ted!). I thought it was a fantastic discussion of the obesity crisis in this country and its affect on our children.

Well, not my children, because they only eat dog food, poop and my knitting projects.  Happy viewing while I am off to start my own vodka potato-juice cleanse!


Sign his petition here and show your support

The Cleanse is Bunk!

The crank, the hunger, the tiredness continues.

But today, toss in a big dose of annoyance.  The Zadge is annoyed, really annoyed at The Cleanse.  She's not sure why she's annoyed, since she brought this on herself and her only real goal (if truth be told) has been met - the GMT is gone. 

But based on the reviews she had read on sites like Yelp, as well as her friend's experience, she started to really think The Cleanse would make her feel better in general, with an increase in energy and have her sleeping like a baby.

And it has, if "sleep like a baby" means exactly that - waking up every other hour crying in hunger.  The Zadge has felt better after a big night of drinking and eating than she has the past three days.

Come to think of it, The Zadge should be feeling triumphant.  Her little cleanse experiment has confirmed what she always suspected:  cleanses are a bunch of B.S.  They clean nothing.  They do no good for your already working fine body.  They are diets in disguise.  And for that, they work - if you have the discipline.  And presumably, if you have that discipline to start with, you don't need to diet!

But one good thing has come out of The Cleansing of The Zadge - a renewed focus on the ab muscles.

Like these, on The Zadge's Lover, Daniel Craig:

She took this picture while she and Danny were vacationing in Mexico last month.

And yes, the hallucinations continue...... 

The Cleanse

You might find this post really dull.  And lacking in humor.  And devoid of any energy.  Maybe even a little cranky.

Because that is exactly what The Zadge is today...and hungry.

Why Zadge, you ask, why are you feeling so?  (Or maybe you're one of the ones saying, "But isn't that always your state?")

THIS is why:

Meet the 3-day juice cleanse that I embarked on yesterday.  Those six bottles are filled with liquids made from various fruits, veggies and nuts.  Or maybe just fruits and veggies and I AM THE NUT, I can't remember.

The Blueprint Cleanse is a trendy craze out of New York City, apparently favored by stars like Sarah Jessica Parker.  Blueprint claims their organic, vegan fruit and vegetable cleanse will rid your body of toxins, give your digestive system a rest, increase your energy and boost your immune system.

But who cares about that?  The real benefit is that it will eliminate the dreaded GMT very quickly.

The Zadge has always been quite dismissive of cleansey-type things.  Even though she flatlines at the sight of blood, her bro is a doc and Moomskers is a nurse, so she is quite aware that the general medical take on cleanses is that they are useless, as your body is perfectly designed to rid any toxins in your bod.

But a good friend tried the Blueprint Cleanse and said she really liked it because a) she wasn't hungry, b) she slept better than she ever had, c) it gave her a healthy jumpstart, and d) she lost 4 pounds in 3 days.  So The Zadge decided to give it a try.

Blueprint overnights a big chilled box filled with 18 plastic bottles of the various juices, so you can "enjoy" six a day. Check out my breakfast for the past two days:


Yummy!  Aren't you all going to pull out your juicers tomorrow and throw in a bunch of kale and spinach for breakfast?!

So The Zadge is officially 2/3 of the way through her cleanse, and all she can say is ....

oh, geez, sorry, just dozed off.  As I was saying, unlike my dear friend, I am a) hungry as all get out, b) have a mild headache, c) am lethargic and d) had a horrible night's sleep last night (probably because I didn't have my usual anesthesia vodka-tonic).

And I'm too tired and hungry to tell you the story about how I met the future Mr. Zadge today - one of the most handsome men I've ever met who showed up at Old Vicky today to conduct an appraisal.  Who wasn't wearing a wedding ring.  Who was super nice and friendly.  Who was a spitting image of Tom Brady and Brett Favre combined.  Who was 6'2" and also a personal trainer on the side. 

Or was I was just having a Cleanse Hallucination?

Gettin' Dirty

The Zadge loves to get dirty.

In the garden.

Well, in her martinis too, but I digress.

Once Spring officially starts, you will find The Zadge getting dirty in her garden every weekend.  Now that I am finished with Old Vicky's Big Ole' Facelift, I can concentrate on getting Old Vicky's garden in shape.

Let's just say that I may need some serious dirty martinis to get through this project.

So, here's The Zadge's garden at The Little Yellow House in D.C.:






Aren't all those rose bushes pretty?

Now here's a shot of The Zadge's new backyard here in Denver taken just a few days ago:

Yes, I know, you're wondering why The Zadge bought a property that apparently just got hit by a tornado. So is The Zadge.

This week, I hired Martin (pronounced "Martine" in Spanish) and his brother to do some serious hardscaping to the yard to get it ready for the fun part - the flower planting.  Martin and his bro worked their bee-hinds off every day this week: chopping down trees, dismantling Gazebos and Shrines (don't ask - the previous owner was ODD!), digging beds, and laying sod.

Do you see Martin up in the tree with his chainsaw?  Do you see any safety measures? Do you see The Zadge freaking out from her deck, picturing a) the tree falling on her house, b) the tree falling on Martin, and c) the lawsuit falling on her desk?

 

By Sunday, Martin was almost done with his work and the weather was phenomenal.  And The Zadge had her first al fresco meal at Old Vicky since she moved in, planning out all the beautiful flowers she will soon plant.

Stay tuned for more episodes of "How The Zadge's Garden Grows!"

Saturday Sayin's

Little Bee and Little Souffles

The Zadge's drinking book club gathered at Old Vicky last night to discuss this month's escapades book selection, "Little Bee."

We all loved the book.  Even those who hadn't read it.

We all loved the Indian food we had delivered from a local restaurant.

And I think we all loved the dessert The Zadge whipped up to complement and cool the heat of the Indian food:


Try it!  But I warn you, it is rich, rich, rich - we're talking Bill Gates rich.  None of us could eat more than half of these little ramekins!

Of course that might have something to do with the naan, and the chicken tikka masala, and the saag paneer, and the naan, and the alu gobi, and the naan, and the tandoori shrimp, and the vegetable samosas, and baby jesus of bethlehem, what the hell were we thinking ordering so many dishes?!

FROZEN CITRUS SOUFFLE
(adapted from "The New Basics Cookbook" by Sheila Lukins and Julee Rosso)

Serves 4

Ingredients:

1 cup cold heavy whipping cream

3 egg whites

pinch of salt

1 cup sugar

1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

Finely grated zest of 2 oranges

Finely grated zest of 2 lemons

Finely grated zest of 2 limes

Directions:

1.  Butter four ramekins and lightly sprinkle with sugar. 

2.  Whip the cream at a high speed until it forms soft peaks. 

3.  Whip the egg whites and salt at a high speed until they form soft peaks.  Sprinkle 2 tablespoons of the sugar on top of the egg whites and then whip at high speed for another 30 seconds.

4.  Gently mix in the rest of the sugar, the lemon juice and all but 1/2 cup of the whipped cream into the whites.  Stir in all of the grated citrus except for 1 teaspoon into the mixture.  Refrigerate the remaining whipped cream and citrus zest.

5.  Scoop mixture into ramekins and freeze.  (Can be made night before.)

6.  When time for serving, remove ramekins from freezer, top with remaining whipped cream and sprinkle with remaing zest.

Eat, enjoy, and hit the treadmill hard the next morning.

 

Harry Boning up on his French

Bon chien!!

Harry's Bitch

Guess what? Harry's got himself a new boo!

Meet Lily:

Harry has great taste, don't you think?  She's gorgeous! It's obviously hereditary - her mother, The Chilean, is also gorgeous!


The Zadge and The Chilean chaperoned the new lovebirds on their first date, a great, three hour hike up Green Mountain, just outside of Denver:




It was a beautiful day filled with sun, blue skies and yellow dogs!  About two hours into the climb up the mountain, the Lovebirds were hot and tired.  We let them share their first drink together.  Of course, with them both being underage, we kept it clean, giving them water in a poop bag made into a water bowl:


When the Lovebirds finished their cocktails, we resumed the climb.  The sun was high and everyone was sweating. So how excited were the 'birds when they stumbled upon a big ole' mud pond that they could go skinny dipping in:
s

The Lovebirds had so much fun sharing their first swim, that The Zadge and The Chilean could not  lure them out of the pool.  We pretended to have treats.  We yelled, "Harry - COME. Lily - COME!" We pretended to leave.  The 'birds simply looked up at us and then resumed their love swim:


All the mountain bikers passing by commented on what a cute muddy couple they made:


Of course, those mountain bikers didn't have to put the wet, muddy Lovebirds in their formerly-clean car on the way home.

After about two and a half hours, we reached the top:

Do we live in beautiful country, or what?!


As we headed down the mountain, we were all a little hot, tired and thirsty.  So imagine the Lovebirds' glee when they found a second swimming hole:


Don't you wish it was your car that they were shortly going to jump into, rubbing all that nice mountain mud all over your upholstery?

All that hiking and chaperoning made the humans thirsty too.  So, after dropping the 'birds off in The Chilean's backyard to give them some "alone" time, we headed to the Morrison Inn, right down the road from Green Mountain:


It's a kitschy joint, with greasy Mexican food, great margaritas and, as the watering hole for all the Harley riders after a day cruising the mountains, lots of cool people watching:


And it was the first time The Zadge has dared to imbibe tequila after her Mexican Adventure:


We spent a couple of hours at the Morrison Inn eating, drinking and laughing:


For The Zadge, it was another fabulous day in Colorado, spent with a good friend, yellow dogs and blue skies.

Life is good.

Saturday Sayins

Happy Weekend!!!

Don't believe everything that Zadge lady tells you - I can be quite refined, after I have sucked a peanut butter-filled Kong dry.